I was a substitute teacher on the Thursday before Christmas Break when all through the school, there was so much Christmas Spirit I didn’t know what to do, I was sobbing. Every once and awhile I get choked up or goose-bumpy arms from something that touches my heart but most of the time I have my feelings in check.
Substitute Teaching at Christmas
The school I was subbing at had the feeling of coming home for me, which does not always happen when you are a substitute teacher. The school was filled with cheery teachers all decked out in ugly Christmas sweaters. I mean EVERYONE, even the custodians, lunch staff, other support staff had gone all out. Not all the sweaters were ones that you can buy either, there was some amazing creativity going on there. Each sweater seemed to fit the personality of the wearer to a T. To top it off they had a teacher ugly sweater contest decided my the “Top Dog” students (students who had shown excellent character and nominated by teachers).
The hallways strung with twinkle lights set the 🎄Christmas mood. The highlight of the day at the school was to be the Christmas sing a long in the gym at the end of the day. If you are not aware a Christmas sing is semi run of the mill right before Christmas school stuff. This school bumped it up a few notches. I was a para that day and so I didn’t have any students to work with and I love singing Christmas carols with students because it was a tradition in my old school too. The Christmas Sing is the best part of the day.
I went to the gym where the projector was set up, lights were off and students all lined up in rows on the floor. The songs were typical like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, We Wish You a Merry Christmas and Feliz Navidad. It was like stepping into a time machine. I was back at my old school, my school home of 16 years. I practically grew up there.
Then the slow intro to a song started…I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise up and goosebumps raced down my arms.
🎶”You’d better watch out!”
“You’d better not cry!”🎶
🎶”You’d better not pout, I’m telling you why.”
“SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!”🎶
Enter the waterworks
😢 If you have never heard a gym full of children’s voices singing in the merriment of an impending break, let me tell you, it is one of the most magical sounds you will ever hear. The equivalent of hearing Santa’s Bell 🔔 in the Polar Express. Christmas spirit instantly fills your heart. Also for me it filled me with so much emotion that I instantly started crying. I had to leave the gym and go back to the room that was not my own to cry. I’m not 100% sure what all the causes of my breakdown were. But I know part was that I miss having a school home, the people, students and all the things that make kids…kids. It is just not the same when you are a substitute teacher.
If you have never heard a gym full of children’s voices singing in the merriment of an impending break, let me tell you, it is one of the most magical sounds you will ever hear.
I don’t miss all the stress in the expectations of administration. Nor do I miss the stress of meeting standards. Or trying to meet more social emotional needs that I know what to do with. (Another post for another time) I miss my teacher friends, walking in the hallway and getting random hugs, the community of a classroom, school lunches and just plain belonging to a place.
So that’s why I cried 😭 in a gym full of strange children and adults wearing ugly sweaters. I miss having a place. That and the magic of children singing Christmas carols.
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